Finding out you’re pregnant with twins is possibly one of the most surprising pieces of news you’ll ever receive and it sits with folk differently. Mothers and Fathers find themselves handling all different feelings starting from shock and fear through to contentment and excitement.
I myself had the surprise twin news twice; I have fraternal twins and identical twins and had them in that order.
I never believed to be pregnant with twins but I was over joyed.. I was over the moon. I was deliriously cheerful. I cried tears full of emotion. These were my first youngsters so the reality is I had no idea what being a parent was about and I had no prior experience with taking care of one baby not to mention 2. This is probably why I was able to relax in my joy of being different to the norm and felt privately extraordinarily pleased with myself for naturally conceiving twins. I felt part of a very special club; the twin club! In my opinion, my twins were the most wonderful to have happened to me and life made complete sense when they arrived.
My 2nd piece of twin surprise news came at approximately 8 weeks pregnant if I can remember rightly. I had previously had a miscarriage at 11 weeks so I was feeling terribly anxious. An early scan was in place to relieve nerves more than anything. At the beginning of the ultrasound I had spoken privately to the nurse about the miscarriage and she could see that I was ok about things and simply said “well you have actually made up for it this time”. The nurse questioned if I had any person with me to which I explained my father was outside as my hubby was abroad and she suggested we bring him in. I’m convinced my Father was in more shock than I was. You do not expect it again notwithstanding all those funny acquaintances and family guffawing at their proposals of “oh what if it’s another set of twins?”
How did I feel? Well, immediately, I just felt so very happy to be having another set of twins. I was high on adrenalin; extremely excited. It didn’t matter that I was already supplied with the experience and awareness of how exhausting a twin pregnancy can be and indeed how demanding and exhausting having baby twins is. I was excited. I actually felt relieved it was twins. I knew the antenatal care would be in depth and felt cosy knowing that.
The best bit was telling the news firstly to my hubby who I contacted as soon as I was free of the clinic doors. The communication was mobile to mobile and he just failed to get what I relaying to him. I assert “its twins” and he repeats “what about them?” and I say “it’s twins” and it doesn’t register as it was surprising and amongst the crackling of the line he suspects I am talking about our 5 year old twins! Eventually, it sinks in and he’s excited too. Then my best mate who was one of my funny buddies teasing me about a second set of twins. Finally, my mother on holiday in South Africa at the time; surprised and had to hang up and call back. No-one truly expected a second set but everybody was far more startled than me!
Personally, I have learned so much from having youngsters and having them has definitely altered me as a person; not that I used to be a bad person before, far from it but I was essentially a person who only had to take care of myself and thus could lead my life quite care free and hedonistically. Looking after somebody else truly means something quite different and having two little babies being completely dependent on you is an enormous responsibility but one which has been rewarded with double the love and double fun.
Hence my message to all of you twin mummies who have just received the surprise twin news is do not sweat, be contented, you are about to start on potentially the most special time of your lives.
I can understand why there is so much interest around twins and indeed the benefits to be gained from twin studies. I am lucky to have both fraternal twins and identical twins and capable of making my personal discoveries as a twin mother.
My identical twins are definitely 2 peas from the same pod as the expression goes. They look the same, usually have the same dislikes and likes, measure virtually the same, essentially have the same interests although they are only 4 years old so there’s much room for change in that area. Despite these clear similarities and the undeniable fact that they share identical genes there are still differences and actually differences in their personalities.
The differences apart from the weight discrepancy were obvious from birth. We had one fairly chilled baby who appeared to feel quite comfortable with the world and needed less physical contact to settle while our littlest twin needed much more. The bigger of our twin girls is naturally more confident especially in new circumstances and of new people and our smaller twin is more of a wary person. But once smaller twin is comfortable in a situation she shines and is the comic of the family; she is naturally very funny.
I think it is ultimately the twin personality differences that help us as parents to tell one from another within a glance. We see outside the surface, we look for expressions and mannerisms; we listen thoroughly to the tones of their voices and observe how they react to different eventualities. All these tiny signs that display their personality and character help us to recognize them separately and as people. And, they are individuals but at the same time they are identical twins and both factors need to be considered when parenting them.
I am not certain if it’s the case with all twins or rather identical twins but my 2 are definitely on par with their development and learning. No, they did not begin to walk on precisely the same day or speak their first word at precisely the same moment or anything freakier than that but they are progressing at a very similar rate. We home educate our youngsters so we pay special attention to how they learn and what they wish to do and as stated already while the girls are on par and have the same interests there are still variations in their personalities.
The financial implications of two new babies and the effects it’ll have on a family are sometimes not realized till they have arrived and twin parents understand the time restrictions that come with having Twins.
The original cost of having twins before their birth is soon realized when you begin to add together the price-tags on the abundance of baby apparatus available. There might be expensive medical bills or hospital insurance to pay out for depending on where in the world you live. Suffice to say, it can be a troubling time for many moms and pops expecting twins particularly if your new twins aren’t your first youngsters. Adding another two to an existing family consisting of one child, 2 youngsters or even more can imply even larger finance outlay for such items as bigger automobiles or maybe moving home.
The necessity for 2 adults to work to pay the bills, against the expenses of childcare can present a financial quandary and may not be financially viable. But even if it were a possibility the added workload for a mum of twins and a job could be a huge challenge in itself especially during those early months with sleep-deprived nights and feeding demands. A juggling act to attempt to strike a work/family balance could put too much stress on the whole family. At the same time, existing on one salary with the additional costs of two new babies can be a frightening option.
There will of course be double the nappy bill so researching the choices between dispensable and real nappies is a sensible idea. There are pro’s and con’s for both choices.
The same thing applies for the milk bill. If you breast feed, which many twin mothers manage successfully, this can obviously be a massive cost saving. Though, breast feeding twins is a private choice and usually dictated by the family arrangement and how much support is available.
When your twins start to walk there will be double the shoe bill. There’ll be double the clothing costs too.
Then of course as your twins grow older there’ll be educational costs and considerations. It is a smart idea to start saving as early as possible most likely to scale back the strain later on particularly if they both are going towards further school education. Of course, this is commonly simpler said than done with the rocketing costs of everyday life.
Good planning and some info from other twin parents who’ve already been through the various stages can be invaluable. For instance, twin folks will tell you that it isn’t critical to purchase 2 of everything and will be able to advise on which products are worthwhile and handy when managing 2 babies and which aren’t. Some things are just more practical with twins than others.
Recycling is good for the environment as well as a big cost saving so if you are offered hand-me-downs from friends and family grasp them with inviting hands. Particularly, baby garments are often just gently used before they grow out of them so it really isn’t always critical to buy brand new.
Planning and buying wholesale when special offers appear is an alternate way to economize. If you’re using dispensable nappies these can be purchased ahead as well as other baby products that you may use such us baby wipes, cotton wool, baby creams and so on. Also, don’t feel the need to buy premium brands just because. Frequently the supermarket own brands or less familiar brands are quite as good and more competitively priced.
When it comes to weaning, take a little more time and make your own purees and food for your infants; not only is home cooked food better for your tiny ones it is less expensive than buying the ready made jars.
As you can see there are many ways to scale back your outgoings with twins.